On taking offense...

Last night I went to a comedy show that left me more depressed than before I went to it. This is certainly not what comedy should do.
The first half was pretty good. It was funny. Offensive jokes here and there but I could stomach them because overall, the comics were funny.
However somewhere along the lines the show became only about "midget jokes" accompanied with the occasional rape joke. It was honestly really embarrassing. However the rest of the crowd loved it. In fact they were encouraging it. There's something disturbing about seeing people just crack up at jokes that hurt you.
The explanation if you take offense is always, "It's a joke, it's just a joke." Or, "It's comedy." I understand, there is something to be said about laughing at jokes you're not supposed to or taking a taboo subject and laughing at it. Okay, I get that. Everybody does that. But where do you draw the line? I don't know, but sometimes I'll see someone, like maybe a white man, say something really fucking racist or sexist or homophobic or ableist in way that is just blatantly hurtful, unoriginal and unfunny and I just want to ask them if it makes them feel powerful. There's a lot of selfishness, entitlement, ignorance and privilege that makes people feel like they can and should put other people down. They're pushing other people down to raise themselves up. That's how privilege and oppression works.
There is no such thing as "it's just a joke." Words have meaning. They can have devastating effects.
Take for example the LGBT teen suicides that have been happening for a while but are getting a ton of attention lately (finally). This video discusses some different kinds of oppression that LGBT peoples face which contribute to the suicides. Around 1:26, Gene Fucking Simmons says, "Bullying isn't always about fists. It often starts with a joke." Jokes can be used to put people down, to hurt people, to scare people, etc... They can be devastating.
Laughter can be healing but it can also be cruel.
Once I was at the Horseshoe (local dive bar) with Paul Beatty (NO BIG DEAL) and we were talking about taking offense to humor. He said that he was chatting with Sarah Silverman's Rabbi sister who said she doesn't think it's legitimate to say you're offended. You're not offended. You're sad or angry or hurt or scared or upset or deflated, etc... (Here is an interesting interview he did that touches on similar issues.) I think Sarah Silverman's Rabbi sister is right. In that same respect comedians should note that people don't get offended just to get offended. There's usually something else going on that should be taken into account.
Comedians are always going to offend someone. But it matters how they offend them.
I offend people all the time. Especially when I'm talking about my sexuality. This is me expressing my experience and liberating myself. I'm not putting down already vulnerable groups. Quite the opposite. I'm resisting the silencing suppression of my Queer female sexuality by a patriarchal rape culture that would like me to stay trapped in a web of fear and shame.
In the recent documentary on Joan Rivers, she gets heckled by an audience member after a Helen Keller joke. The man yells out, "That's not funny. My son is deaf." She calls him a moron and says "It's comedy." However after her show she seems sympathetic towards him. I found it interesting to see how she dealt with this. Yeah, it's hard not to offend people. Often comedians will have some offensive material but are generally funny and smart and kind. I respect them.
I do not respect people who take the stage to unabashedly target a marginalized group of people like little people. It was really bad last night. The friend I went with was doing a lot of heckling. I might have stopped her because I know how hard comedy can be and I want to respect the comedians but fuuuuuuck. These guys were like the creepiest assholes. Also my favorite part of the whole show was when one comeian said, "Why would I be afraid of midgets? What are they gonna do?" and my friend yelled out "They'll light you on fire!"
Okay well. Thanks for humoring my female hysteria once again. Yikes.
Here is a pretty good article that talks about contemporary humor and ableism that is relevant to the issues mentioned above.
You know, I think I'm pretty good at giving comics the benefit of the doubt and I give them as much respect as I can. However sometimes, I'm just want comedy to fucking step it up and reach its potential of being fun and awesome and not shitty and fucked up. Sometimes shit is not okay, and people have every right to be offended.
This offensive show last night made me feel like I can't yet I have to do comedy.
I have to go to bed now.