SO, this is my favorite thing right now. I had a little too much Robitussin the other night and I stared at that website and laughed for at least an hour and shared it with whoever happened to be on facebook at 3am.
Oh goodness, well... my life is going normally. Home for Thanksgiving. Writing comedy. The theme to my comedy is mostly death right now and that probably has something to do with the weather being absolutely apocalyptic right now. Yikes. Miserable. Hate it. The worst part of the snow and the holiday season in general is how cute couples get. Playing in the snow. Cuddling by fires. Disgusting. A couple was behind me in a long Starbucks line yesterday, baby talking, kissing, snuggling. I was like, "EXCUSE ME, some of us ARE LONELY!!! So unless you want to let me join you, I suggest you stop. But really, can I join you? Please."
I've had more stage time than usual in the past couple weeks, which is great because WWU's Last Comic Standing is in a week! I'm excited because I think that since we first had this event three years ago, a lot of us Western comedians have developed a lot. Anyway, I hope it's a good show.
So...I had an interesting experience last week where a friend of mine did a joke on stage that offended a couple girls in the front row. The joke was not a rape joke necessarily but it had rapey undertones. It was a "lack of consent" joke. A girl whispered under her breath "that's not funny" and this really upset him. I feel a little weird talking about this on my blog because I do have respect for him, but I found this to be a tricky and loaded scenario. I did my best to comfort him, because he was upset, but I also understood where these girls were coming from. I have written about these issues here and here. I get a little sick of writing about these things. In my opinion, his jokes weren't totally offensive but they were bordering on upsetting for me. I really respect him and comics like him who dedicate themselves to writing and performing jokes to make people laugh. However, when they get sooooo defensive and angry at people they upset, I feel bad for them but not as bad as I feel for the people they upset. Especially when those people are upset because they feel like jokes are condoning or encouraging rape culture (or other social/institutionalized oppressions). I would choose being the person who has to deal with telling an offensive rape joke over being the woman who has been raped and is triggered by the joke's content. I honestly feel that some comedians, especially white males, just absolutely do not understand why they are hurting people. It's really weird. I just want to tell them there's this invisible thing they can't see. It's called oppression and you aren't breaking it down, you're perpetuating it. If you understood it better maybe you could be smarter with some of your jokes and actually do some cool subversive and progressive shit with it. So, read a book.
It's sad in a way because society socialized them to be a certain way and then they're punished for it in ways they don't understand. Unfortunately their defensiveness or unwillingness to hear about it can be even more hurtful and oppressive.
FUUUUUCCK, I don't really want to be this person that has to talk about this shit. This is going to be a problem for me in navigating the world of comedy, I think.Sometimes I don't want to be "that girl." However, it's who I am. It's my world view. And it's right... so there. It is a bit of a burden to have views that differ from the mainstream. It is a never ending battle. It's annoying. That's why you have to fucking have a sense of humor about it.
But damn this shit is complicated.
In regards to comedians or others confronting people about their privilege in tactful ways (not that you have to, do what you want) this video by Jay Smooth is quite excellent. Replace the word race or racist with rape or rapist as need be.
In somewhat related news, this article spotlights an anti rape campaign in Canada called "Don't be that guy." It's aimed at preventing sexual assault. It has slogans like "Just because you helped her home, doesn't mean you get to help yourself." I love it. I'd love to do something similar in Bellingham/ Seattle this year. I'd love to have similar campaigns with creative and comical ways of shaking up society. Let's be real, it could use some shaking up.
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