Hey, you know what I love about stand up? It really just can't hurt me to be myself. There is nothing in me that is too embarrassing or shameful. The more I indulge myself by letting myself be HELLA Jessica Sele (emotional, hysterical, radical, smelly, crazy, analytical, nuerotic, etc...) the funnier. Embraces it, loves it.
God bless my poor Father who has been putting me through college and wants me to do something smarter with my degree. Can't blame him. Comedy is pretty dumb... hard to make money, it's not prestigous or societally respectable, hella people hate stand up these days... not to mention it's exhausting and miserable. I unfortunately just love it. My Dad likes to suggest other careers…
“Dad, I want to be a stand-up comic”
"Have you thought about foreign diplomacy?"
“Okay, Dad, seriously. I don’t even know what that is.”
I CANNOT GO INTO POLITICS. Which is such a bummer because I’m right about everything. But no, there is way too much dirt on me. Can’t be president with my track record. I imagine the media coverage:
“This just in: Presidential candidate Jessica Sele is a huge dirty slut. We here at the news team just Googled “Jessica Sele” and immediately found disturbing results. Now, some of these pictures may be upsetting for some of you at home. Janice, can you tell us what we have here?”
“Of course Jim. Here we have the presidential candidate simulating oral sex on a parking meter. Notice her pupils are dilated, she is not wearing a bra and she is holding a sign that says ‘Fuck the Police.’ Also, she is most likely menstruating. Is this the picture we want for America, America? God help us. God help us all.”
On the other hand, the one that’s not in my pocket… If I’m a COMEDIAN, I don’t think there’s anything you could say that wouldn’t help my career. Seriously, what are you gonna do?
“This just in: Jessica Sele, comedian, caught downtown being completely normal and boring. Is this the end of her career? Tonight at ten.”
As a comedian, I do not feel like there’s any part of me I really need to hide. I guess it wouldn’t be a good idea to get on stage and start crying or something. That’s not good for comedy. That wouldn’t be funny. Oh wait… yeah it would, just maybe not right away.
Can’t take life TOO seriously. It’s so gratifying to know that if someone came up to me and said, “Jessica, Oh my God! I heard that you had sex with a 34 year old man off of Craigslist casual encounters and then you got mad that the sex wasn’t reciprocal so you painted an angry vagina with teeth and googly eyes on the side of his house!” that I could just respond, “Oh so you’ve seen my act,” and laugh.
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