Dane Cook... I'm a little impressed.

So as some of you may know, my strategy for making it as a comic is to start a rumor that I've been sleeping with Dane Cook. I have a comedy set that I like to perform in social settings called my "I fucked Dane Cook last night" jokes. This always works because if the people I'm telling this to don't know me at all they might believe me or think I'm crazy, either of which is entertaining for me, but if it's people who do know me hopefully very intimately as many do, the absurdity (which in my life means probablilty) of me hooking up with DANE COOK (the graphics and dialogue that me and Dane Cook might have in intimacy) is equally entertaining for all involved. So basically, if you ever hear anyone mention Dane Cook in passing, it's up to you to say, "Oh my, I heard that he's been caught sleeping around with Jessica Sele. You haven't heard of her? Oh she's a comedian. Yeah I think they have a sex tape circulating."

Well anyway, sometimes people ask me what my opinion on Dane Cook is and I say "don't have one." I've heard sometimes he's offensive. I don't know. Haven't seen enough of his stuff. No comments at this time. I think he's one of those people who are successful and easy for everyone to hate. I might hate him too if we didn't have freaky comedian sex all the time. Other than that, I cannot say.

EXCEPT THAT I am a little fascinated with Daddy Big Cookie's (as I call him in our throws of passion) commentary in next clip. It's interesting because I have a couple slightly funny jokes about people who say "that's so gay." I was meaning to write some jokes about overhearing people say things like "Oh man, I just raped that test." Then my friend sent me this:



Apparently I must have mentioned some thoughts I had about my set to Dane Cook while we were spooning...
A lot of comics have talked about the stigma and use of words in our society. The most famous of course being George Carlin. Then of course there's Dave Chappelle's take on the n-word (no I don't use the word. why? buy me a beer and I'll tell you why I find it unneccessarry). The most interesting bit on the n-word to me is in this clip of Richard Pryor. It's interesting because he was famous for the way he overused the word previously to this. I admire his bravery to continuously check what it was that he was saying. Richard Pryor was constantly thinking and evolving as true artists should. HELLO.
At any rate I would like to say that I'm pleasantly surprised with Dane Cook's commentary on the casual use of the word rape in our society. It seems to me that Mr. Mainstream might actually have some thoughts or critiques of mainstream society. So now when people ask me what I think of him and isn't he a sell out idiot, I'll have something to say in addition to my tales of our copulation which is "I don't think he's as much of an idiot as other people think. Maybe." Then again, I probably have lower standards than I should of what constitutes as smart comedy or good men. Sometimes I think I just try to make hey look like needles because I'm sick of looking... for real needles... in hey stacks... This to me is where, "Hey, at least he's not telling rape jokes!" meets "Hey at least he's not a rapist!" for many.
right.
Also, FYI, this bit has always cheered me up when I'm pretty desperately depressed, which is the best thing about comedy:



Also, Sorry my posts are so weird.
Actually, I'm not sorry.
Sorry.

The Personal is Political is Hilarious

Hey, you know what I love about stand up? It really just can't hurt me to be myself. There is nothing in me that is too embarrassing or shameful. The more I indulge myself by letting myself be HELLA Jessica Sele (emotional, hysterical, radical, smelly, crazy, analytical, nuerotic, etc...) the funnier. Embraces it, loves it.
God bless my poor Father who has been putting me through college and wants me to do something smarter with my degree. Can't blame him. Comedy is pretty dumb... hard to make money, it's not prestigous or societally respectable, hella people hate stand up these days... not to mention it's exhausting and miserable. I unfortunately just love it. My Dad likes to suggest other careers…
“Dad, I want to be a stand-up comic”
"Have you thought about foreign diplomacy?"
“Okay, Dad, seriously. I don’t even know what that is.”
I CANNOT GO INTO POLITICS. Which is such a bummer because I’m right about everything. But no, there is way too much dirt on me. Can’t be president with my track record. I imagine the media coverage:
“This just in: Presidential candidate Jessica Sele is a huge dirty slut. We here at the news team just Googled “Jessica Sele” and immediately found disturbing results. Now, some of these pictures may be upsetting for some of you at home. Janice, can you tell us what we have here?”
“Of course Jim. Here we have the presidential candidate simulating oral sex on a parking meter. Notice her pupils are dilated, she is not wearing a bra and she is holding a sign that says ‘Fuck the Police.’ Also, she is most likely menstruating. Is this the picture we want for America, America? God help us. God help us all.”

On the other hand, the one that’s not in my pocket… If I’m a COMEDIAN, I don’t think there’s anything you could say that wouldn’t help my career. Seriously, what are you gonna do?
“This just in: Jessica Sele, comedian, caught downtown being completely normal and boring. Is this the end of her career? Tonight at ten.”
As a comedian, I do not feel like there’s any part of me I really need to hide. I guess it wouldn’t be a good idea to get on stage and start crying or something. That’s not good for comedy. That wouldn’t be funny. Oh wait… yeah it would, just maybe not right away.
Can’t take life TOO seriously. It’s so gratifying to know that if someone came up to me and said, “Jessica, Oh my God! I heard that you had sex with a 34 year old man off of Craigslist casual encounters and then you got mad that the sex wasn’t reciprocal so you painted an angry vagina with teeth and googly eyes on the side of his house!” that I could just respond, “Oh so you’ve seen my act,” and laugh.

Before my egg sandwhich

Show tonight at Bellingham's finest nightclub THE GLOW will be a benifit for the local hella punk rock non profit MakeShift.

Here's my inspiration:



AND



AND ELLEN DUH

Doing this life

I may or may not suck at being a blogger. I'm not sure. Sometimes I'm like it's this thing I should do. Maybe I should blog today. Maybe I haven't quite figured out what the deal is with my blog yet. What's it about, what's its style? Is it about mapping my journey through comedy? Is it just written comedy? Is it socially analyzing the constructs and implications of comedy? It, like everything else I've ever known is having identity issues. But it is just going to have to deal with that and realize it doesn't always need to be understood. It should just rest easy knowing that it has something to do with comedy and realistically, it's just a way for me to avoid cleaning my room and nobody likes to read anymore anyway.
Well, I've been doing fine at making sure that I'm practicing comedy regularly. Stickin' to my at least two times a week rule. Last week I performed for open mic night at the Cobra Lounge, a hookah club in Bellingham whose slogan is: "The Cobra Lounge is Not a Crime." When I got there, there was a young white male rapper who I believe had the lyric: "I wanna smoke my weed from inside you girl." God bless his soul. God bless this town. I paid five dollars for a membership and need the stage time so I will be there every Tuesday.
Last weekend I went down to Seattle to have a "comedy rager weekend." This means I drank way too much, smoked too much weed, and made bad decisions (sex with man on friend's futon =/ YIKES WHATEVER) but with the overall intent of doing and watching comedy. It was pretty great minus the terrrible hangover. No more drinking. I'm cereal. BUT YEAH, I got to see one of my most favorite comics Hari Kondabolu! He is a great comic and I think will be taping his Comedy Central Special this weeek! So excited. Let me know if you have cable so I can watch that. Anywho, I also went ahead and did the open mic while I was down there which was good fun except there was this one dude who's whole set was an odd anti circumcision lecture that started off with "Who here knows what suction is?" Oh foreskin.
OH I AM excited to say that I am working on a couple of film projects...
I AM ALSO working on some merchandise including an activity book full of mad libs and crosswords.
LASTLY I AM starting up a comic group with some guys at Western called
Stand Up Comedy Klub (SUCK).
okay.