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It was super fun to shoot and many laughs were had.
Special thanks to actors and extras: David Ney, Eric Holl, Robin Marquis, Geoff Traeger, Jenny Henley, Misty Fall, Maria, Tristen, Sheldon Botler, Peter Blackburn, Glyndon Jewell, Chelsey Webber Smith, Mel Estes and whomever else I've stupidly forgotten.
I love especially love some of the special effects Valerie put in such as the awesome lightning, the vocal sound effects, etc... I also want to point out that the scene where Chelsey Weber-Smith says "You will never touch us" and shoots lightning laser gun at poor Peter is based on a song she wrote where she's kissing her lady only to be harrassed by a douche lord. The chorus goes "You will never touch us, You will never touch us." I love it. Anyway as this scene was playing at trailer wars some guy yelled out "YEAAHHHH!" as they were making out and it was so great to hear him shut up as Chelsey Pulled out her laser gun and said that line.
I'd also like to explain that in the end when Sheldon picks up the lavender (which we accidently used sage so that's great) and David smells it and says "Lesbians!" that is supposed to be a historical reference to the Lavender Menace however it just turned out to seem a little silly. Although I clearly don't have any issues with irreverant silliness!
ONE MORE THING: The joke about Lady Gaga can sort of be explained by sentiments such as the one in this article.
You will notice that Valerie and my film production name is "TuSpock Productions." This is because one time we stole two cardboard cut outs of Spock from Uhaul and frequently danced with our two spock[s] which sounds just like TuPac! Coool!
Anyway, we had to cut a lot due to time, but HERE'S THE ORIGINAL SCRIPT IN CASE YOU'RE INTERESTED
LezbiNation
Heartbeats, heavy breathing, unsteady dark camera shots going in and out showing men’s faces
Man 1: Their cumming!
Man 2: I can hear them! I can hear them cumming everywhere!
Man 3: They took my girlfriend away from me.
Man 4: It’s like they have some kind of power.
Sci fi music
Trailer Voice: In the Distant Future
Man hits on women in a store. She smiles.
Man: Want to know something impressive?
Woman: (looks away) Umm…
Hott Dyke walks by and smiles at her. She smiles back. Shot of man frightened and helpless.
Trailer Voice: In a world where life as we know it gets turned upside down.
Woman watching the L Word turns tv off and runs to the ironing board and motions ironing when she hears her husband walk in the door. He walks up behind her. She looks distant.
Husband: Hello honey. I’m feeling randy. Shall we womp womp?
Wife: (stares in the camera) No.
Trailer Voice: Year 2011
Newscaster: The women are turning gay at an alarming rate.
Newscaster 2: It seems as if all the women all around me are suddenly lesbians!!
Bill O’Reilly: I fucking hate the thing!
Ellen dancing
Women kissing on street
Man in Car: Hey do it again so I can see ya! Do it for me!
Woman smiles, kisses her gf and shoots him.
Crazy Man: (sign says something crazy and funny about dikes going to hell) Listen to me! The women are fornicating! With each other!! Like having sex! I’m serious! I don’t know how they do it but they do!
Man walks through bar. Everywhere he looks there are lesbians. Making out. Dancing. Laughing at him. Showing their armpit hair. Reading Judith Butler and other Queer Theory or Literature. He drops to the floor mouthing NOOOOO!!!!!
Trailer Voice: This summer straight men will do anything to get back what is rightfully theirs. Women.
Secret Man Meeting
Men: Rabble Rabble Rabble Rue, Rabble Rabble Rabble Rue, Rabble Rabble Rabble Rue, Rabble Rabble Rabble Rue, Rabble Rabble Rabble Rue, Rabble Rabble Rabble Rue, Rabble Rabble Rabble Rue
Mayor Wartz: Order Order Hetero Gentleman! Order!
Man 1: I’m mad damnit!
Lieutenant Trouser Snake: I want my wife back!
Captain Third Nipple: You’re not getting your wife back Lieutenant Trouser Snake! (Silence ) I’m sorry she’s gone. She’s living with a girl named Kym. Spelled with a y. You see they move fast (shows picture of Uhaul).
L T S: But I thought the Lesbians taking Uhauls to their second date was a joke Captain Third Nipple…
C T N: (yells) Am I Laughing?!
L T S: cries Sandra Why? Can’t I use my penis to get her back? Or my knowledge of ancient…
C T N: No LIEUTENANT! It’s not like that. They already have a nice apartment downtown. They have a cat. And a goldfish. And matching tattoos. They go hiking. They have incredible sex. Just phenomenal. Constantly.
Soldier Short Cum: How can we stop them?
C T N: Good question Soldier Short Cum. Doctor Teabags Toilet Water?
Doctor Teabags Toilet Water: Well we’ve found out that they communicate via texting. They text rapidly and consistently. (Shows woman texting. Phone reads “I miss you! Want to rent some movies later? And then not actually watch them?) General Curve Dick, How’s operation Shayne assassination?
General Curve Dick: She’s Dead Doctor.
D T T W: Good. That will buy us some time. Professor Numnuts, what about this Gaga character?
Professor Numnuts: Lady Gaga? No worries. She’s on our side. What I don’t get is how did they discover the power of their sexuality? How did they find their clitorises? We’ve been successfully hiding it from women for so long even we forgot where they were.
Man: So they do exist!
Men: Rumma Ru Ma Ma! Rumma Ru Ma Ma!
A piece of lavender falls to the floor in slow motion. BOOM! Doctor Teabags Toilet Water picks it up and sniffs it. Looks Concerned.
L T S: What is it Doctor… Teabags Toilet waterrr?
D T T W: Lesbians!
Women surround the room. Woman with megaphone takes the stage.
Woman: Welcome to a Post Gender Society. Say Goodbye to your Patriarchy!
Screen goes black. Lightning Letters spell out “LezbiNation”
Two girls laugh and make cunnilingus gesture.
Screen Goes black again and reads “Cumming Soon…”
“And A lot”
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