I was part of a travelling feminist variety act of comedy, music and communist propaganda called "The Hott Mess Shit Show." And a hott mess shit show it was... After a rigorous quarter at Western Washington University we hopped in the hott mess mobile and took our shit show on the road for Spring Break.
I will definitely never forget this tour. It was just wild. We had ladies crying in our arms saying thank you, we got educated by a very deep and sensitive white boy named Leviticus Appleton who plays the guitar and sings softly about how we shouldn't seek to "fuck patriarchy" but rather to "love people,"we jumped in the ocean, drank hella Slurpee's, had breakdowns and cried as well as laughed hysterically for hours upon end, we got high (a lot), we processed our lives and talked about learning to live in our own skin.
Of course the show and the tour was specifically about being women and letting go of what we're supposed to be or not be. The music of the Femme Uke playfully comments on being sexually active women among other things, Janette Casolary engaged the audience and loosened them up by inviting them to ribbon dance with her, Valerie Brogden amazed by playing songs on her ukulele, tap dancing and singing, and I offered various comedic characters and acts designed reduce sexism and the silencing of women to pure absurdity and idiocy. For example "the Patriarch" criticizes everything we do in the show by claiming it's not true art. Then "the Patriarch" finds feminism and uses his knowledge of "feminist theory" to condescend even further. However, by the end of the show "the Patriach" gets in touch with his feelings and learns to listen, deconstruct his privilege and actively become a good ally to women, Queers, people of color, and disAbled communities. This character has a mustache that would not stay on so often I had to hold it up with my finger. It was silly. Then of course there was my talk show "Clitalk" with my co host Alfredo the vag puppet. For this audience members could be interviewed about their sexuality. This was especially fun in Oakland when my good and drunk friend Riley was there to ham it up with her explanations of how she goes about hooking up with guys that she doesn't want to really but also she does...
Anyway, I struggle with how explicit to be about how being a woman shapes how I see and do comedy and music. This show was very straight forward but also quite silly. I like remembering this show because it reminds me... that fuck it, I have to let go and be myself. Maybe I wont always fit in the "boys club" but I know who I am... or I'm learning. Sometimes I don't want to feel like I'm a spectacle or be seen as my gender but sometimes I just want to laugh and make a spectacle out of everything. Sometimes I just want to be that hott mess shit in the show. Sometimes not. I just want to be the one who decides. I want to create some room for people to be themselves and not be boxed in. As bell hooks put it, "I will not have my life narrowed down. I will not bow down to somebody else's whim or someone else's ignorance."
Not sure how I got on that rant but the truth is there is a disparity of representation in comedy and music. Women and girls don't have a lot of spaces or role models to push them to create and express themselves. And when they do they're often boxed in or categorized as creating something in a genre called female which is less universal or human or important. I'm learning that you sort of just have to put yourself out there anyway. It can be hard, but if you do it you may just meet other rad people doing the same thing. And maybe you'll go on a wild tour with them. And maybe you'll tell other people to do it to. And maybe we all will be able to breathe easier.
So basically, if the hott mess shit show had a motto it might be...
I hope you dance.
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