So it's been a little bit since the last time I've written. I was busy with finals (hey fifth year of college!), volunteering (a donation to DVSAS in a family member's name could be the perfect holiday gift!) and well, writing and performing comedy. I competed in my University's version of Last Comic Standing and won which was really fun (but not as fun as performing with comics who are becoming my friends and putting on a good show with a bunch of my best friends in the audience!) The prize was an opening spot for an Upright Citizens' Brigade show. That was also fun and of course I took them out to show off Bellingham's local dive bars after the show, ending the evening in drunken karaoke. For the record, karaoke with experienced improv comics is as much fun as it sounds like and I'd be a liar if I said I didn't throw my bra at one of them for singing an excellent version of an Otis Redding song. Which Otis Redding song? No idea.
But at any rate, I've been doing comedy for a few years but since I started this blog a few months ago and started holding myself accountable to BEING A COMEDIAN and DOING COMEDY I've learned about myself and others and life. I've been going places I normally wouldn't go (The Cobra Lounge) hanging out with people I normally wouldn't (bros) and learning things about myself and people that I wouldn't have otherwise. I'm really loving it. With that said, it's difficult.
My life seems as if it is in a bit of a transitory phase. Which is good I suppose. As my friends and I are graduating college and moving away, our communities, lifestyles, and beliefs are shifting. We're changing. And people always should be.
Evolving.
Still, as I'm stretching myself and my ideas about comedy and society (to be open and postmodern to a degree that would have made me throw up in my mouth a couple years ago)I can't imagine myself not needing a feminist community. I need radical freaky weird girls around me to be sane. Often I go about my life worrying if people like me and assuming they don't and feeling like I don't fit in. Which is fine, because I'm a comedian. It's also fine because I'm a feminist. Rad, hairy, hysterical feminists make me feel like everything makes sense because they all know as I do that nothing makes sense. I also feel this way about comedians.
Can I combine my love of social justice with my love of comedy? Where is this community?
Time for some quick online research...
Seemingly the most active site for feminist comedians is Funny not Slutty. I'd like to start off by pointing out that I think this is a rad thing as are all hubs for women making connections. Although, those of you who know me, know that I am against a funny/ slutty dichotomy. Their slogan is "Funny not Slutty, We make women laugh." 'Tis a noble cause. But why the name? They Say, "Well, when you get a number of females together who want to show off their stuff to get attention, they are usually slutty chicks. But we’re not. We’re funny chicks!"
DANG IT! NO! I hate this divisiveness amongst women. It's "we're better than you because we're funny not slutty."
Personally, I'm pro slutty. I would hope my humor has an anti slut-shaming message. Can we stop pointing the finger at women? Lets challenge patriarchy, not just the women who are living within and surviving a patriarchal society. Can we start respecting women already?
It's true, I have short hair, rarely wear make up and don't shave. I don't look slutty. And I do comedy, so I'm funny. This leaves men and some women who think it is a feminist action and think it's appropriate to bash other women to me because the these women wear short skirts and lots of makeup and flirt with boys.
One time for Halloween, I dressed up as a slutty firefighter in a blond wig and even some of my own friends who didn't recognize me looked at me like I was a piece of garbage and men felt even freer than they already do to harass me and grab me. However, this is what we tell women to be. No matter what you do or how you look, you can't win.
You're too pretty, too dumb, too slutty or too bitchy, too ugly, too crass, etc... Either mainstream society, or men, or feminists or whoever will judge you.
Furthermore, I believe the reason a lot of women don't do comedy is because being funny is seen as the antithesis of being sexy or pretty which is what society is most concerned with women being. This leads me to ask...
Can I live?
Can
I
LIVE?
I see women who might be stereotyped as "breezies" to be some of the most receptive to my comedy. I would hope they leave feeling uplifted and inspired and respected. If I achieve this with my comedy, that would be really incredible to me.
It's about people feeling comfortable in their own skin and laughing at all the reasons they aren't. Or something.
Another site that I really liked but didn't seem to be updated regularly is Wisecrack. I especially enjoyed their interview with Margaret Cho. That was a really neat and helpful article to me. I liked it when she gave advice that suggested not sleeping with male comics even though you will. Tell me about it.
This interview with Morgan Murphey was also inspiring and informative. It is "On Sisterhood in Comedy and Making People Laugh."
These lady comics are affirming my understanding of the need to have a supportive lady community in my freaking life.
My friend Jenn says (and I think she's quoting someone, likely a riot grrl rock girl from Olympia of some mid 90s type), "Everybody needs someone to get them, if only for 15 minutes." This is so true. Could be family, activists, feminists, comedians and generally human beings. Just gotta keep living and growing, pushing myself and staying true to my core. Ultimately not worrying about those who "don't get me" and giving back those who do. That's my advice to my funny/ slutty/ whole human being self. Through the years I hope to revisit this as my life/ career progresses.
